Sifting through the book section at a 2nd hand store, I came across a hardback entitled “Party Spirit” by Robert Farrar Capon. The book, published in the 70’s, was all about home entertaining and party planning.

With chapter titles like “The Dogmatics of Hors D’Oeuvres” and ” Wine that Maketh Glad” I was intrigued.

I wanted to know – what are the dogmatics of hors d’oeuvres and

Turns out – it was the best dime and quarter I ever spent!

The author’s tongue-in-cheek delivery of his hosting principles kept me thoroughly entertained. And his dry sense of humor had me laughing out loud and underlining sections so I could go back and find them again. (e.g. “Teenager should not be permitted at parties to which other forms of human life are invited.”)

Some of his tips have stood the test of time (like the one about teenagers) and on some points I respectfully disagree with Mr. Capon (e.g. He is “emphatically against cheese before dinner.” Now that is just ludicrous!)

7 Tips For Hosting a Far-Out Party that still apply today.

1. Keep an open mind about the time and place for hosting your next party – ANY time and place is acceptable as any good party will transcend preconceived ideas. (e.g. host a brunch birthday instead of dinner, try an outdoor venue instead of inside etc.)
2. Dealing with punctuality as a host: Late guests: Don’t let them distract you from those who’ve arrived on time – instead let the party begin and when your late guests arrive, welcome them like you did the others. Early guests? Again, all guests should be welcomed…even the early ones (although for me – being unexpectedly early is far worse than being a few minutes late.)
3. When buying wine for your party you need to consider 3 things: quantity needed, money you’re willing to spend and quality…in that order. Otherwise you run the risk of running out or appearing too tight with your pours – both faux pas. Overall, people would rather have a full glass of average wine with dinner than a thimble of expensive wine (with no chance for refill).
4. Appetizers should already be out when guests arrive. If you want people to mingle and not get cemented to their seats – spread the food and drink around.
5. If soup is your first course – it better wow guests and be remarkable – otherwise drop it from the menu.
6. Guest seating – forget girl/boy arrangements and forgo the old adage that hosts should be seated at either end. When it comes to arranging guests, the only thought should be to ensure the evening goes well. That means mixing up the company so that outgoing conversationalists and quieter attendees are sprinkled around the table to keep it lively and inclusive. Also as the host, be sure you’re seated for easy access to the kitchen so you can grab what you need quickly and easily.
7. There are ALL types of parties so be sure YOUR party has your OWN personality shining through. If it feels awkward and fake…everyone will feel uneasy, killing your party vibe.

Where we disagree

I must admit, while there’s a lot of good advice there are some points on which I emphatically disagree. For instance, his take on Hors D’oeuvres:

• no meat, egg or cheese (too filling and only serve as preface to nap time)
• seafood is encouraged (although I can’t say I’d serve any of the recipes he shares : pickled herring, puree salted codfish and garlic – I just think the smell alone would overwhelm whatever else you plan on serving)

When it comes to drinks – Mr. Capon suggests that wine all the way is the best rule for entertaining. I much prefer to provide guests with options.

And cocktail parties – he argues that they are not parties at all. The reason? They are only the beginning of a party – just drinks and hors d’oeuvres and they’re over before it has a chance to get good. The cocktail party only “serves to whet a guest’s appetite for something that will not follow.”

Perhaps in the 70’s the cocktail party was more of a “happy hour” situation. People showed up at 5, drank wine, stuffed themselves with pickled herring and left by 8 pm. Can you blame them for not sticking around?

I would argue that today’s modern cocktail soiree is absolutely a party. There’s plenty of food (likely meat AND cheese), a variety of cocktails to choose from and in most cases – no hard and fast rules for departure times. Sounds like a party to me!

I will leave you with a few of my fave excerpts from the book.

Funny but True – Excerpts from the book

Teenagers should not be permitted at parties to which other forms of human life are invited. The reason..they are intolerant of any parties but their own and the best that can be hoped for from them at an adult party is bored moping.

Having teenagers myself, I will add that in addition to the moping is the sidling up and whispering : “Can we go now?”

Mix well and taste. If it doesn’t make sense yet, have a glass of wine and keep trying: it will.

Plying guests with hard booze before dinner is like shooting them out of cannons: it gets them up there in a hurry, put it provides no net for the trip down.

Don’t serve anything in papillote (Unless you have servants to clear away the wrappers) because it makes your table look like you sent out for sub sandwiches.

Jesus spent a good deal of time at parties – large and small.

Capon, Farrar Robert “Party Spirit”