Dinner Table Manners

Some may argue that the idea of etiquette is old fashioned and out dated. I mean, who even cares about this stuff anymore? Well, obviously you do – or you wouldn’t be reading this 😉

People cheering with wine glasses

But seriously – I’m willing to bet that each one of us been in a social setting where someone was talking with their mouthful, or taking seconds before the rest of the table was served, or forgetting to say a simple please/ thank you.

So what did you think about that person? Rude? Classless? Arrogant? While we hate to admit it – we’re human and sometimes we judge people – there, I said it.

BUT – having good manners is less about being judged and more about making everyone comfortable and showing your hosts and fellow guests respect.

Here’s a few simple rules to keep in mind next time you’re at the dinner table and it’s being served “family style” (where dishes are placed on the table and guests serve themselves.)

salt and pepper grinders
  • Phones should be off during dinner. Not only can it be distracting but it also gives the impression that the people you’re with are less important than whatever’s happening on your phone.
  • No hats at the table. These aren’t the fashion statement they once were, but still it’s considered poor taste to keep your hats on during dinner. It’s still acceptable for ladies to keep on their fashion hats (not baseball caps).
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  • When passing food down the table, it should be passed to the right.
  • Instead of reaching for dishes, politely ask someone to pass it to you.
  • If you’re the one passing food to a guest and decide you want some too – you DON’T serve yourself before passing it to the person who asked you. You wait until they’re done and then you can politely ask for the dish.
  • Salt and pepper should be passed together, even if someone just asked for the pepper – it’s a package deal.
  • If your host hasn’t put salt & pepper on the table, it’s considered poor manners to ask for them. (basically, you’re insulting your host and saying you don’t like the taste of the food)
  • Butter – use the butter knife provided or if there’s no utensil provided, guests can use their own knife (only if it’s clean)
  • Never speak with your mouth full. I feel like this one should go without saying but there are people who still do this – and it’s gross, please stop.
  • Elbows on the table? Not while you’re eating but it’s acceptable before and after the meal while you’re chatting (also acceptable in between servings)
  • Pinkies up when drinking from a cup? Nope – that went out of style with the Victorians.
  • Hold your wine glass by the stem. This keeps wine from warming up and it also keeps glass from getting smudged with fingerprints .
  • Wait until everyone’s done eating before you leave the table. But if you must leave, be sure to excuse yourself.
  • Use simple please and thank yous. Being polite never goes out of style and it really does go a long way in showing others how much you care.

Joyful Hostess Tip: These rules pertain to North America. It’s important to note that different cultures and countries have different rules around manners. If you’re travelling or dining with others who may have different customs, be sure you do some research in advance.